No one, absolutely no one, goes to the hospital for a retreat. The hospital is where one goes to confront significant and often unexpected health crises. As a hospital chaplain, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing the vulnerability of those living on the edges of life within small rooms where a patient’s pain and the journey behind that pain speak louder than the noise of mounted televisions, the voices of family members and medical professionals, or the beeping of life-sustaining devices. As I stepped into these rooms to invite contemplation, hope, coping strategies, and spiritual direction, I saw patients wince and negotiate with their newfound bodily conditions and prognoses. In their suffering, their capacity to engage their theology and spirituality was often challenged. My role was to support them in re-centering God—not as a place of blame for their condition but as a partner who could offer revelation about what led them to their health status and provide wisdom to cope and cultivate a life-giving lifestyle that could improve the quality of their lives.
The Weeping Behind Closed Doors
Raw emotion—tears—often flowed after these moments of spiritual exploration. In the privacy of hospital rooms, where societal norms dictate that men do not cry, I witnessed men breaking open. They stopped laughing and telling old stories, confronted the ways in which they had participated in their health maladies, and looked within—into their hearts—to sit with their truth and beliefs. In the safe space we created together, they could redesign their lives, their spiritualities, and prioritize the activities that would allow them to live into new realities that were becoming real to them. It was humbling to witness this deep soul work, where societal norms had to disappear so that the work of the soul could be attended to.
The Consequences of Neglecting Inner Growth
These moments of raw emotion and spiritual exploration are crucial for soul work, where the focus shifts from maintaining a facade to attending to the deep needs of the whole being. Neglecting inner spiritual growth leads to emotional pain, stress, and a sense of purposelessness, which can exacerbate health conditions. These moments of realization often come too late, when the pressure to appear strong has already taken its toll. Without these capabilities, stress triggers escalate to bodily dysfunction, disease, and mortality challenges.
Cultivating Genuine Spiritual Grounding
Intentional life groundings are essential for creating a more authentic life rooted in spirituality and self-love, where the emphasis is on repairing and nurturing the whole being. Practical steps include daily practices such as mindful prayer, meditation, or journaling, which allow for deep reflection and connection with the divine, rather than just going through the motions. Moving from appearance to authenticity is key; it involves confronting societal pressures that dictate appearances and embracing a spirituality that is lived and felt deeply. In chaplaincy, the goal is to help individuals confront these illusions and rebuild their spiritual foundation.
Centering Self-Love and Care
Genuine spirituality is intertwined with self-love and care. Treating oneself with compassion and kindness is essential for healing and sustaining the spirit. Integrating self-care into daily routines—such as spending time in nature, practicing gratitude, and engaging in soul-nourishing activities—reinforces spiritual grounding. Regular reflection on one’s life, reassessing whether actions and choices align with the deepest values, is crucial. In chaplaincy, the focus is on helping individuals find spiritual sustenance that will support them long after they leave the hospital.
True spiritual depth goes beyond appearances; it requires a willingness to be vulnerable, to confront and heal the inner self. Reflecting on the humbling experience of witnessing men, often bound by societal norms, break down those barriers to engage in the soul work necessary for true healing, I urge readers to take proactive steps to cultivate a more authentic and spiritually grounded life. By doing so, they can build a foundation that sustains them through challenges and allows them to thrive beyond the crisis.
