For the last forty years, companies have shifted their relationships with employees. There was a time when an employee could anticipate growing and remaining with the same organization until retirement. With the advent of terms like “human capital” and a tendency to view workers as line items in budget reduction discussions, the employer-employee relationship has shifted towards one of impermanence. Nothing about the workplace and human relationships within it is constant. The constancy of change in org charts and trust networks is ever-looming. What does this do to those who did not receive the proverbial “pink slip?” What if most of your team has been impacted by the latest round of layoffs, and you are one of the few chosen to stay? What do you do?
Perhaps the exiting employee has received their severance notice, developed their workload transition plan, and packed their boxes, but you are still trying to navigate what your disappearing team means. Above all, you’re grieving. And it’s kind of complicated because you’re not supposed to be sad. After all, you still have your job and insights around how you can manage your shifting workload, but you are still mourning the disappearance of your former colleagues with whom you may have developed deep social and work-associated connections over time. Why hasn’t anyone talked about this kind of workplace grief and loss? Where can you go where someone doesn’t retort back, “Be grateful that you have that job!” You don’t want a pep talk or for someone to dismiss your unique grief, but you know it is there. Worse yet, your unique grief is often unacknowledged with phrases such as “I know that this is hard on all of us, but we have a lot of work to do this quarter.” Inside, you wonder about the limited compassion of colleagues.
We often don’t talk about the above scenario as grief, which is probably why it goes rather unnoticed and unattended to within workplaces. Perhaps if we simply understood what grief is, we might be far more successful in sensing what and how we might build the inner strategies needed to support workplace health and resilience. So, what is grief? Grief is a non-linear process where one attempts to reaffirm or reconstruct meaning after the challenge of loss. We spend eight hours or more at work each day. As we work, we tell stories, share memories, and build trusted networks to support our work. Our colleagues help us enjoy work and get things done. When that is removed by an unexpected event such as a sudden organizational restructure or termination, we are left trying to understand and make sense of such workplace losses. Why? Because we associated work with that person or group of people. Because they made our work life simpler, doable, or lighter. We may try to stuff our emotions deep down, become numb, attempt to forget, subtly withdraw from opportunities to make deep workplace connections, deny our attachments, and replace what was lost with those remaining. After we encounter such losses and navigate through our responses to them, we must confront the fact that work will never be the same again. We won’t be the same again. So, what can we do?
- Recognize that it is time to notice your reactions.
- Get real with how the sudden workplace changes have impacted your connection with your workplace.
- Acknowledge relationships that are disappearing and make plans to address those missing connections.
- Be compassionate with yourself.
- Develop supportive communities at work, home, and in your social circle. Tell your story of workplace loss.
- Identify ways to maintain connections with those who are no longer affiliated with your organization.
- Honor the work, skills, and person that you worked with. Integrate your memories into your new professional and personal work.
- Advocate for positive change. Find your voice amidst the constancy of layoffs.
- Be in solidarity with former colleagues. Build supportive communities within the company to support restoration.
- Identify a ritual that releases your former colleagues in a way that is emotionally healthy for you.
